This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.
Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I’m reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.
there needs to be a law that says job rejections have to be sent by a person.
they can still copy and paste a template, but the email has to be from someone in the company’s HR department so i know a human being was involved in the process at some point.
i’m so tired of submitting job apps, hearing absolutely nothing from anyone about anything, and then getting an email two months later from noreply @ lolyourefucked.com saying lol and letting me know i am, in fact, fucked.com.
when i was a toddler i thought god was an imperceivable web of white pulsing membranes stretched over itself a million times and i thought he lived inside the wooden pulpit at my church
Consider, from the perspective of ten years ago, an ex-president saying he used to constantly fantasize about fucking men, and the reaction being “yeah, whatever, poser.”
hold up im reading more about the lionfish thing and this one island in Honduras has had such a huge problem with lionfish that the measures they have taken include
• getting special exemption from the Honduran government to allow divers access to harpoons and spears which are otherwise illegal in fishing
• public campaign to teach people how to prepare and eat lionfish (apparently they are very tasty once the poisonous spines are removed) (but watch out)
• holding lionfish combination hunting competition and cookout (reportedly they killed and cooked 1,700 in a day) (someone killed 60 of them with a rubber band spear gun???)
• most recently and apparently out of desperation, the divers in charge of culling the lionfish in the Roatan Marine Park just started. feeding the lionfish they killed to sharks. bc what else are you gonna do with it
• the sharks don’t seem to notice or be affected by the poison and begin hanging out with the divers
• the sharks then were seen hunting and killing the lionfish on their own
like this is nuts to me sorry. the sharks just had to be shown “hey this is food, did you know?? you can eat these!! here try one!!” we are possibly altering an entire foodchain bc we like feeding the big ocean wolves
I know it’s because they’re invasive but it’s hilarious how many different ways human have come up with to send this one fish in particular to the plinko.
do you ever watch videos of youtubers reading their own crappy wattpad x self insert fics and think to yourself man i would love to explain the sold to one direction trope to these kids, it would absolutely break them
it was the morning after the big move (a/n idk where she moved too lol) and you swept your messy dark brown hair that was slightly wavy with sun kissed blonde streaks in it up into a messy bun and swiped mascara across your thick lashes that brought out your shining blue ocean colored orbs before throwing on the large frumpy sweatshirt that i had thrown on the floor the night before. i heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. “y/n!” your mom yelled “get down here quick!” “what is it mom?” i yelled back, she was so annoying sometimes. “your new owners are here,” she stated. “my- what?” you stammered, perfect pink lips opening in shock. “yes honey, how else do you think i was able to pay for this house and my alcohol addition? now open the door” you opened the door and saw them on the doorstep, one direction. they looked mostly bored but harry opened his arms and gave you a brilliant smile, his pearly white teeth glistening in the sun. “hey princess get your stuff.”
So I ended up with free time at the end of my first class today, so I was like “do yall wanna see a vintage meme?” and turned on “what does the fox say”. Expected like. A laugh from the kids, or even just a “wtf is this mx?” which is. A reasonable reaction to What Does The Fox Say.
But instead of a reasonable reaction. all of my students watched the first 60 seconds with jaws agape. And then this one kids turns to me like the fucking eye of Sauron and literally goes:
My husband told me I also should share the next part of this story, where I, feebly trying to defend my honor against a child, said, “No, this video was just big when I was in college!” and he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and absolutely obliterated me by saying, “So did you go to furry college?”
To everyone pointing out my icon: do I have a fursona? Yes. Does that make me a furry? Almost definitely. Do you admit that to a 12 year old who has just accused you of being a furry, in front of 23 other 12 year olds, with 25 instructional days left in the year? Absolutely THE FUCK not!!!
